Laughter and Happiness

Last week ,there was a discussion going on in my class regarding differnce between laughter and happiness.But no student had the perfect answer.One said that happiness is what we feel and laughter is the thing that we show.He was probably right.Other said for him laughter and happiness are one.Another student said that happiness is state of mind when we feel content and laughter is the outcome of our internal happiness.Each student had different views.And finally they turned towards me.They all wanted to know about my take on happiness and laughter.

When I thought about it I was instantly reminded of the song ‘tum itna jo muskura rahe ho, kya gamm hai jisko chipa rahe ho.’ We all go through this phase very often.Dont we? And sometimes we misinterpret our laughter with happiness.Many a times we are sad at heart but we do want to reveal our sadness to others and we try to behave normal and we chat and laugh with them.

As I was not clear  myself I told them that happiness is something we feel from inside like when our soul is happy and we usually laugh with others because we dont want to reveal our state of heart and mind to others.It is in our nature that we do not reveal causes of our sadness to everyone.I found myself digging deeper and classifying the attitude of people towards happiness in four categories.Firstly there are people who dont give a damn to what is going on in their life.They are cool by nature.So they are always happy.But it is very much difficult to be like them.Secondly there are people who get irked even at little things and cry over it for a longer period.These type of people are never happy.Thirdly there are people who do not reveal their sadness to others and keep an artificial smile on their face.These type of people are not happy in true sense and most of us belong to this category.And lastly there are people who take lessons from the wrong happenings in their lives.These are the people who are you can say diligent by nature who want to improve themselves and they can be happy in true sense.

Class was satisfied with my theory but at heart I was not so much satisfied.I was thinking that I complicated the most beautiful and simple thing called happiness.Whenever I am confused I turn towards my kids and I always come out with a satisfactory and perfect answer.When I came back home I asked my 9 year old girl the same question ‘ what is the difference between laughter and happiness?’ And she didnt disappoint me that time even.She synopsized all my theory in one sentence,” Mom, khushi ki awaaz nahi hoti.”

You

You are tears

You are smile

You are peace

You are definetely the most beautiful phase of my life.

Leave it!

Its december and we are welcoming winters in northern part of India.As I am mother of two,a nine year old girl and a six year old boy,I keep on asking them to wear socks and shoes otherwise they will fall in the trap of cold weather and get sick.But they hardly pay any attention to my instructions.And if I get angry on them for this they say ,”Mum always gets angry even on smaller things.”

This time my husband has a solution to this problem.He says if he finds them roaming bare footed in house they will get ten kisses for the first time and five kisses second time and if he finds them bare footed for the third time they are definetely going to have a slap.And the scenario in my house has totally changed now.Now they are always wearing their shoes and socks but when my husband comes home they deliberately remove their socks and shoes to get kisses.Ten for the first time and five for the second time.It was going perfect and we all were enjoying it much.I was feeling good to watch my kids and husband laughing after being kissed.My kids were very attentive regarding third time.They did not want to get a slap.Especially the little one.As he is the youngest member of the family, he is much pampered,even more than me,he has never got his share of slaps and scoldings,never from his dad atleast.

Last night when my husband was home game started again.Both of my kids were wearing shoes .On seeing their dad home they removed their shoes and demanded kisses.They got their kisses for the first time and second time too.And then my girlie wore her shoes but my poor boy forgot and that was the when his dad slapped him,the thing he never does.And my son was crying this time and even refused to sleep with him.

And then my husband was cursing himself.His intention was not to slap him at all.He did it in fun and mock anger.He could not even sleep last night.He was worried that his baby will not even talk to him in the morning.But when in the morning he got up he came straight to his papa and gave him a tight hug.However my husband felt sorry ,he said,” leave it papa!”My husband was really happy and relieved.I was really happy to see that.They were all happy again.Their game is still going on.

There are many things that we can learn from our kids.Like how to love unconditionally,how to laugh and most importantly how to forgive.We all hold grudges in our heart for small things for years.We cant predict what is going to happen next.Life is too short to hold grudges.We should forgive everyone as soon as possible.This is the best thing I have learnt from my kids.Grudge puzzles our heart and soul and its best to leave it!!

Looks matter.Dont they?

I am wondering how far do looks matter in a relationship.Do people really love with eyes? Just like they do it with food.In early days of a relationship everything is beautiful.They admire and love each other.But with time complaints and arguements replace that so called love thing.Especially in case of arrange marriages.

There is a friend of me who wants to divorce her wife because she no longer looks attractive.After one delievry she has put on some weight and he is so proud of himself because he still looks young.And whenever I meet his wife she is always crying.Her primary concern is her 3 year old daughter.My friend has hundred of reasons to leave her like there is no spark in their relation,if he is not happy how can their baby be.But I find all these reasons baseless.He is just being selfish ,thinking about himself and no one else.He says he loves his daughter.What type of love is this? He is not so much financially strong and cannot give an alimony.
My dear friends I really want to know about your take on this matter.Plz share your views.